


We Must Be Better Than Our Enemies (If We Are To Succeed)

by Marie_Phantom



Series: Tumbleweed (Blowing In The Wind) [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Brief discussion of torture and execution, Loki Needs a Hug, Loki Needs to Talk, Multi, Steve Is Observant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-10
Updated: 2014-08-10
Packaged: 2018-02-12 14:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2113806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marie_Phantom/pseuds/Marie_Phantom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is defeated, and sits in his cell, waiting for punishment. He doesn't mind, because for the first time in a year, he is free.</p>
<p>Steve acknowledges this, and talks to the defeated villain, learning a few things in the process.</p>
            </blockquote>





	We Must Be Better Than Our Enemies (If We Are To Succeed)

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last story before He's Worth Waiting For, and will hopefully explain why Steve was so at ease with Loki in that story. I also wanted to explore Loki's mindset after the defeat of the Invasion, because in my previous story, he wanted to be defeated and beaten because otherwise he could not be himself again.

Loki has a slipped disc in his back, several broken ribs and ruptured organs, and his chest bone has been crushed. He is in absolute agony, and he can't stop looking at Stark's very nice ceiling, whilst he wheezes. He could move, could will his limbs into dragging himself out of the hole he has created, but he doesn't want to. Because he is looking at the very nice ceiling, and he is thinking for himself.

He is  _free._

He can hear the sound of battle around him, and he would pull himself up and look out of the window, but his mind is nice and quiet, except for the occasionally thought. He rests his hands on his sternum, and he breathes slowly. He still has his magic (his precious, wonderful green magic), and so he lets it flow through his body, healing his wounds. He wouldn't actually mind dying, right there in the floor, staring at the ceiling. But he has seen Thor for the first time in two years, and he would like to see him again, if only to make himself feel a bit better.

He has dragged himself out of the hole and onto the steps when he hears the whisper of clothing, and he turns slowly around to see the Avengers looking at him. He looks into the eyes of Barton, seeing nothing but absolute hatred. Loki doesn't mind. He understands hatred that intense.

"If it's all the same to you, I'll have that drink now." He says, ducking his chin into his chest, and staring at Stark from underneath his eyelashes. Stark, to his surprise, shrugs and stomps off to the bar, pouring a full glass of scotch and walking over, handing it to Loki. Loki takes a careful sip and grimaces. He rather likes the burn, and after two years of no food and dirty drinking water, it is nice to taste something that doesn't make him want to vomit.

"What the hell?" Barton hisses. Stark looks mildly offended and places a metal hand over his chest.

"Never let it be said that Tony Stark was a bad host. Besides, I did offer one earlier."

Romanov shakes her head. Loki looks at her, slightly concerned by the way she's holding the staff. "I suggest you drop that soon." He says. She frowns at him and he nods to the staff. Loki can almost see her tighten her grip, before her face goes pale and she drops it like a hot coal.

The Avengers are dispersing, although the Hulk is still standing by him, and Thor is staring at him with such a wounded expression on his face that Loki can feel his healing heart clench. He hates it when Thor looks at him like that.

It is only later, when Hill has stepped through the window and cuffed him, and taken him to his cell, that he realises that Thor did not look at him with angry. In fact, the only emotion on his face was pure grief.

Loki decided he didn't want to think about that, and curled up on the floor, slipping in a shallow sleep that would do him absolutely no good at all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It is Steve who is decided upon to take Loki his food. 

It comes about like this. Thor can't do it, because he is virtually comatose when someone even mentions Loki's name. Natasha won't do it, because everyone knows that if she is left alone with him, she'll slit his throat. Clint won't do it, for the same reasons. Banner won't do it, because he doesn't trust the other guy not to bury Loki into the floor again. Tony won't do it, because he doesn't want to.

So Steve chooses to do it, because otherwise Loki won't have any food, and as he grew up during the Great Depression, and spent the majority of his years poor as dirt, Steve finds this intolerable.

Steve is polite, and so he knocks on the door of the cell before he enters. The cell is not glass, but good old fashioned steel. It does have security cameras in every corner and a toilet, and as Steve steps in, he sees that is all Loki has.

"I've brought food." He says, frowning at the room. Loki sits cross legged in a corner, dressed in a S.H.I.E.L.D t-shirt and loose grey trousers. He was bare feet. His hair lies tangled around his face, and when he looks up, one of his eyes is bruised.

Steve wanders over and sets the tray in front of Loki. There isn't much on there, and the only cutlery is a small plastic spork (of all the modern inventions, Steve thinks sporks are one of the stupidest). The food on the tray is bland and looks unappetising, but Steve knows what true hunger feels like, and if Loki's cheek bones are anything to go by, so does he.

"Thank you." But Loki doesn't reach out to touch anything.

Steve shifts back onto his heels and stares at Loki.

"You need to eat." He says, a hint of the Captain creeping in. "You've been here for three days and you haven't eaten."

Loki shrugs, and Steve grits his teeth in frustration.

"Are you trying to starve yourself to death?" He asks. Loki lets out a hollow laugh.

"As if any of you would let me die on your watch."

Steve feels uncomfortable. They almost had, because no one had elected to inform the Avengers that the prisoner hadn't had any food for the three days of his incarceration. 

"That's not really the plan we were aiming for." Steve says. Loki looks up, interested.

"What was the plan?"

"Make you stand trial for your crimes. Thor is arguing for Asgard, I have a feeling that he might win." 

Loki throws his head back and a horrible grating sound comes from his throat. It takes Steve a moment before he realises that Loki is laughing.

"Such tender Asgardian justice! I shall be lucky to escape with my life." Loki looks slightly manic, and despite himself, Steve feels a sliver of worry.

"Do they torture? On Asgard, I mean." 

Loki bites his lower lip and frowns, trying to remember. "Sometimes, yes. I think that they do."

Steve feels sick. "That's disgusting!" He says.

Loki looks nonchalant. "It's the way it is."

"That's not the way things are done on Earth." Now Loki looks interested. He leans forward and stares at Steve's face.

"How do you punish people here?" He asks. He sounds slightly breathless.

"We make them stand trial. We asses their crimes, a jury decided whether the person is innocent or guilty, and a judge decides the punishment."

"And that is all? No physical punishment? You do not make the person suffer for their crimes?"

Steve shakes his head. "Prison should be punishment enough."

"And in prison? Do the prisoners get fed everyday? Are they allowed furniture?"

Steve nods, then looks around the room and bites his lip. He didn't think that Earth was setting a good example in prisoner care if this is the best they had to offer.

Loki reaches over and picks up the spork. He dips it into the tray and brigs it to his mouth, slowly eating. He can feel the moment the food hits his stomach, because suddenly he feels it churning. Steve looks at Loki, but Loki doesn't look back, to focused on eating.

When Loki is finished, Steve reaches over to take the tray. Loki ignores him, and curls up in the corners. Before the door closes, Steve sees Loki strip off his t-shirt and ball it under his head. Steve feels a tightness in his chest, and tomorrow he vows to bring Loki a pillow and a blanket. 

At least then he might be warm.

 

 

********************

 

 

Steve does bring the blanket and pillow, shoved under his arm whilst he carries next days tray. In his pocket he has a small packet of salt, because he tasted the food in the tray, and he felt slightly sick at the blandness of it. Upon entering the cell, he sets down the tray in from of Loki (who hasn't moved) and then gently sets down the blanket and pillow.

"Why have you brought me those?" Loki asks, this time not hesitating before reaching forward and picking up his spork. Steve holds up a hand and empties the sachet into the food, giving the mixture a good stir before offering it to Loki. Loki takes a bit and his eyes light up slightly, enjoying the new taste.

"You looked uncomfortable, yesterday. I thought you might appreciate these." Steve sets out the pillow near the corner where Loki sits, and gently drapes the blanket on the floor. "It's a cotton-wool blend. Something to keep the heat in." Loki stop eating a reaches out a thin hand, rubbing the fabric in between his fingers. He smiles slightly.

"It does feel comfortable." He says. Nothing more is said, but when Steve takes the tray away this time, he sees Loki crawl under the blanket and fluff the pillow. When he sets his head down, he sighs gently and buries is his face in it. 

For the first time since Loki first appeared, he looks at ease.

 

 

*********************

 

 

The next day, Steve brings a book,  _The Lord of the Rings_ , so Loki has something to do besides stare at the floor. The food remains bland looking, but since Steve has discovers spices, it no longer tastes as bad as it looks.

Two days late, Loki gives Steve a soft "Thank you" when Steve turns to leave. Steve supposes that it's a start.

 

 

**********************

 

 

10 days down the line, and now Loki has a stack of books against the wall. He has a hairbrush and a black elastic hair tie, and he has a toothbrush and toothpaste which he uses to brush his teeth (he uses the cup of water with the meals Steve brings him to do this.)

Steve notices that Loki winces when he stands up, and so pulls down those loose trousers to discover bruises running the length of Loki's hips (What frightens Steve is that Loki doesn't move away. Steve doesn't want to think about why that is).

"You have pressure sores." Steve says, frowning. Loki shrugs and allows Steve to redress him again. Steve is about to ask why when he spots the blanket and pillow. He nearly kicks himself when he sees what is missing.

"Dammit, I forgot to get you a mattress."

Loki looks at Steve, pausing in his hair brushing. Steve has noticed that he likes to brush his hair a lot. It seems to be something soothing that Loki enjoys, the feel of the brush moving through his hair. 

"I don't need one." He says. He sounds mildly confused.

"You're turning purple along your sides." Steve points to Loki's arms, where there is indeed bruising showing along the length of those thin arms. Loki shrugs and goes back to brushing his hair.

The next day, Steve makes two trips. One to put the tray in with Loki and stir in seasoning, the other to lug down a mattress and put the pillow and blanket on top.

Loki says nothing. He spends the night sobbing softly into the pillow, moving his body gently against the softness, revealing in lying on something that doesn't hurt.

 

 

*********************

 

 

"Do you expect to be tortured when you go back?" Steve asks. Loki has finished eating and is lying on the mattress, slowly reading  _Moby Dick_. Loki puts the book down and stares at Steve.

"I'll be awfully surprised if I'm not."

Steve spends that night trying hard not to think about Bucky, and how he found him in Zola's lab.

He doesn't succeed.

 

 

*********************

 

 

Steve has taken to spending more and more time in Loki's cell. He brings his sketchpad and draws things he remembers, and things that he has seen, in this new modern world. One day he looks up from when he was drawing, and sees it is a picture of Loki, as he first saw him in Germany, standing in a crowd of kneeling people. He looks at the figure on the bed, who has fallen asleep, knees curled up to his chest.

The contrast between Loki then and Loki now couldn't be more obvious.

Steve tries not to figure out why. He doesn't want to deal with that kind of issue at the moment.

 

 

*******************

 

 

Steve gets that word that Loki is being taken back to Asgard the next day, and so spends the afternoon with Loki. He teaches Loki poker, and Snap, and they trade pieces of popcorn. Loki's uniform is in the corner, and when Steve has passed that lab, he had seen Tony working on some horrific version of a muzzle.

"Are you nervous about going back?" Steve asked, concentrating on his cards. Loki doesn't answer for a while.

"There is a part of me that is nervous, yes." He slowly puts a card face down and reaches towards the pile, picking up another. "But there is an even greater part of me that is relieved."

"Why?"

Loki gives a grim smile. "This," he waves his hand to his cell, which looks less like a cell now and more like a sparsely decorated room, "has been a beautiful illusion, a temporary refuge from the justice that has been brought upon me. Tomorrow, I go back to reality. That, I am much for familiar with."

Steve feels hollow. "You might be killed."

Loki puts down his cards and meets Steve's eyes. "I don't think that would be so bad. I could spare Thor my presence then, and he would be all the happier for it."

"I think you underestimate how Thor feels about you.'

"Then he is a fool if he still pins hope to me."

Steve swallows and puts down his cards as well. "I don't want to think about how different things are up there. You might be tortured, you might be executed, and you're so blasé about it."

"I cannot change that. Asgard is the place I grew up, and most people there still see me as a citizen. They need their justice, as do the people on this planet. If my death will bring it to them, then I will not fight that." 

Despite himself, Steve felt his eyes slowly filling with tears. "It's not right. No one person should get to decide on the life and death of another when it is not in self defence."

"Who says this is not self defence?"

Steve looked closely at Loki, then shook his head. "You are not the type to do something like this again. No, what happens to you should be just, but it should also be tempered with rationality. Nobody should get to take someones life just because it feels good."

Loki was looking at the ground, and Steve was sure that he too was battling tears. He saw Loki open his mouth and whisper something, and when Steve asked him to repeat it, he looked at Steve and said "How are you so kind?"

Steve said "It's who I've always been."

Loki gave a wet grin and moved towards Steve. Steve didn't move. He gently reached Steve and, tilting his head, placed a gentle kiss on Steve's lips. Steve didn't kiss back. Loki back away and whispered in Steve's ear "You are the very best of men."

Stee left shortly after. He took a long shower and went straight to bed, where he stared at the ceiling and thought about Loki, and Justice, and Mercy, and Bucky. He thought about America, and Asgard, and the small scars around Loki's lips, and gentle green eyes.

Steve feel asleep, and didn't dream at all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Loki was escorted to the departure point the next day. He was quiet, and didn't struggle, not when Clint knocked him, and when he was left whilst Thor said goodbye to his comrades, he didn't do anything but stare at the floor.

Natasha said something to Clint, and Clint laughed, and Loki looked up. He stared at Steve, and gave minuscule nod of his head.

Steve returned it.

When Thor reached out with the case containing the Tesseract, Loki took it, and breathed in one last breath of fresh air. He felt the magic work, and he left Midgard with the air of freedom still in his lungs.

Steve drove away on his motorcycle, and felt heavy in his chest. He knew, deep in his bones, that the Loki he had seen those past few weeks had been the true Loki.

And he would never see that man again.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Bucky brought Steve back from the dead, when he finally kissed Bucky after 70 years, he saw Loki, curled up in the corner of the room. He was still alive.

Steve was glad. They had never actually finished that finally poker game.

 


End file.
